Stay
by Serenity's Ghost
Summary: I found myself face to face with Zuko and suddenly the words that I had carefully planned to say had disappeared from my mind. Because when I laid my eyes on him, I knew then that I loved him. I loved him in a romantic way and I would be lost and miserable without him.


**For P.O.J.A.**

**Standard Disclaimer: I only own this fanfiction and some fabulous pairs of shoes.**

"Zuko, what are you doing?"

His hands reached for the front of my robe and opened it and quickly, fluidly, he removed the garment from my shoulders, allowing it to fall in a pool on the ground. He wrapped his arms around my naked form and his lips skimmed down my neck. "I'm doing what I have to do to make you stay."

There was a tremble in his voice that sounded almost desperate. My hands wrapped around the fabric of his clothes, holding him to me automatically. I hadn't even thought about the action. It had become so natural that it was now a reflex to try to hold him to me.

"Zuko, you know we can't."

"Can't what? Can't do this? Katara, I'm the Fire Lord. No one would dare question my actions. I don't care what the hell anyone has to say about this anyway! I love you and I'll be with you if I want to. Please, Katara. Don't leave me now."

He picked me up bridal style and laid me on his bed ever so gently before he kissed me in a heartbreakingly tender manner and I could feel the emotions deep inside me clawing at each other. Zuko and I had a most taboo relationship and not just because I was a peasant and he was royalty. It was taboo because we were polar opposites, he was fire and I was water and those things were supposed to remain separate and opposite.

But he and I knew better than that. We both knew that we completed each other as a balancing side. We were compatible like no one else was. We were opposite elements but similar in temperament. We were both able to give each other what was needed.

When Aang and I broke up, it was him I turned to. When he and Mai fought for the last time, he turned to me. This was the way that things had been since he helped me find the man who killed my mother.

For the last five years, since the war had ended, Zuko and I had been each other's confidantes. Perhaps this is what was wrong with our relationships with Mai and Aang, but it could not be helped. Since we had become allies and eventually friends, Zuko and I understood each other on a level that was undeniable and unspoken. Sometimes, we didn't need words. Sometimes, all he needed was to hold my hand and all I needed was for him to embrace me. We both had hard lives; we both needed someone who would understand and give us exactly what we needed in the moment, be it the scolding to control ourselves, or a shoulder or a word of advice.

I always remembered the moments we had shared in the early days of our alliance prior to the arrival of Sozin's Comet. The moment that he saved me when his sister attacked us at the Western Air Temple. Hugging him after we had returned from the mission to alleviate my vendetta. Having him beside me as I bloodbended the man who I had thought was my mother's murderer but wasn't. Zuko taking a bolt of lightning for me when facing Azula. Zuko's presence was one that had kept and comforted me. Despite having known Aang for even longer, Zuko and I had souls that resonated with each other's in a way that I knew could never be achieved with anyone else. And, of course, there were simply certain things that I could not speak about with my brother or even Suki.

Zuko was perfect because he wasn't them. He was a person from a completely different world, detached and yet connected and somehow, it made sense deep within me that he should be the man I revealed my sorrows to. And it made me gleeful in turn that he had confided in me with his own sorrows. That night that Mai had said goodbye to him for the last time, he had come to me, torn up inside. He had planned to ask her to be his Fire Lady. Somehow, she hadn't been up to it. There were just too many stressors in life with him and, as much as she loved him—as much as she _claimed_ to love him—she just could not subject herself to it any further. I lent him my shoulder and fumed silently on my own. I knew that any woman who was stupid enough to leave someone as good and wonderful as Zuko was probably brain-damaged and didn't understand the value of a good man when he was before her. Because when it came to good men, one didn't get better than Fire Lord Zuko.

But up until a month ago our relationship had remained generally platonic. He insisted that I never call him Fire Lord when we were alone or even in my letters to him. When we could not be in the same place together, we sent letters, a lot of letters, back and forth. I felt sorry that he had to devote his time to writing to me and even encouraged him to stop so he could rest and pay attention to the important things in his life. His only response was this:

_You are important in my life. I'm not wasting my time and I can rest later. _

_Don't take this away from me. It's the only personal thing I have left._

I knew he was being melodramatic but I let him have his way. I loved his letters and they were all mine. I kept them to myself, guarding them somewhat jealously and didn't let anyone else read them.

And as platonic as things were, seemingly, they were only platonic on one side. I remembered all the hugs, all the times he was close to me. I watched him grow more and more into a fine man and a glorious Fire Lord. Somewhere along the way, Zuko had turned into a man that I needed in my life. And longed for. I berated myself at night for thinking that I would have preferred if my bed wasn't empty, if it was full of him, full of us. And while this burned deep within me, I kept it a secret because I knew that he loved Mai and that he trusted me and needed me to be his friend and confidante. He didn't need me to throw my feelings into the mix of what he was going through.

But everything changed when Aang and I came to the Fire Nation to help Zuko take care of some business a month ago. Aang had set out on his own and Zuko and I had spent the day in his study. He dealt with work while I presided over some letters I had received from different people in the Southern and Northern Water Tribes over the past week. I had yet to reply to any. According to my father, there were a few people asking for my hand in marriage. While it was the way of those in the North to arrange marriages for their children, the Southern Tribe was more liberal, especially where I was concerned. As the only surviving Waterbender and the Avatar's Waterbending Master, I was held in particularly high esteem and was allowed to make my own choices, especially where my husband was concerned.

I started writing to my father to give the young men a polite refusal when I sighed.

"What is it?" he asked me, looking up from his own work. He made a most dashing Fire Lord and I couldn't help but occasionally remember his status and feel flattered that he dared even care about me. Once, I was merely some water tribe peasant to him. Now, my shoulder was his solace and I was Katara to him, Precious Katara on the days when I really needed cheering up. I was his friend and nothing as trivial as the circumstances of birth formed a rift between us any longer. It was a great and wonderful thought.

"Apparently, there are some men in the Northern Water Tribe who want my hand in marriage."

He frowned at this. "Are you refusing them?

I chuckled. "Yes."

"Good."

I arched a brow at him. "Why do you think so?"

"Because I don't want you to get married."

"Why not?"

He looked down at his work before him and was silent for a long moment. I thought he was going to disregard my question altogether. I had desperately wanted a reply because his words had made something inside of me hope for the impossible.

"Because," he said finally, "if you get married, things won't be the same anymore."

"What won't be the same?" I knew what he was talking about but I needed to hear him say the words.

"This…what we have between us."

"And what is this exactly."

He exhaled audibly but continued not to look at me. "For once in my life, I am content not to have to define it. I just want to enjoy it without thinking about it. Can you allow me that?"

"Alright."

I had given in but I had wanted him to tell me that I was really something special to him and that he didn't want to have to let me go to anyone. But it had been a stupid thought. Zuko wouldn't say something like that. I knew him well enough to know that words like those weren't his at all.

I got up from the desk and went to the window to pull the curtain.

"The sun is setting," I said, still looking outside. "I'm going to have dinner and then I'm going to bed. Are you coming?"

"No," he said, still not looking up. "I'm going to finish this first."

"Alright." I gathered my things and walked out, feeling the oddest sensation of rejection.

Later that night, the rejection in my heart grew until it had become loneliness. It made my insides feel tight and wound up. I knew there was only one person who would make me feel okay again and I thought it was some irony that it was the same person who had caused the feeling to begin with. I knew that if I attempted to go to bed feeling like this, either I wouldn't sleep well or I wouldn't sleep at all.

As I snuck though the palace towards his wing, I thought about what I was going to say. I would have to be extremely vague about it and he would know that I was hiding things from him. He would probably ask me why I was being unusually indirect when I usually told him explicitly about the things that were troubling me. I would probably have to beg him to not ask me to tell him about it in too much detail because it was too painful.

I lifted my hand to knock at his door and it opened before I could make a sound. I found myself face to face with Zuko and suddenly the words that I had carefully planned to say had disappeared from my mind. Because when I laid my eyes on him, I knew then that I loved him. I loved him in a romantic way and I would be lost and miserable without him.

"I—"

"No, Katara, I have something to say to you. You wanted to know why I didn't want you to marry anyone and I didn't really give you much of a straight answer. I knew you were upset that I was trying to be distant after we had already grown so close but…it was because I was scared to admit the truth, even to myself. But you need to know how I feel and you need to decide for yourself what to do with that knowledge. Katara, I love you. You're so precious to me. That's why I don't want you to marry anyone, anyone but me. I don't want some other man to steal you away from me because if I lose you, I'll never have anyone as good in my life ever again—"

He was silenced when I kissed him and it took him a moment to realise what was happening but, when he did, he responded with a fervour that excited my soul. Aang's kiss had never done this to me. I suspected Mai's hadn't felt this way to Zuko either. The kiss was so glorious but I knew deep inside that I still had yet to say the words that Zuko needed to hear, even if he hadn't known it himself. Reluctantly, I pulled away from the most breath-taking kiss I had ever experienced and looked at him. There was a dull fear in his eyes that he was trying to fight, a fear that somehow, despite such a kiss, rejection was coming. I smiled gently and him and lay a hand on his cheek.

"I love you, too, Zuko." And the fear was banished from his soul when I kissed him again.

Strong arms pulled me inside and shut the door behind me.

* * *

The passion between us had only continued to intensify, the love only grew and we came to depend on each other more and more. My opinion become of value to him even more now, not only with regards to trivial things such as festival decorations but in the sphere of his nation's issues as well. He had come to think as much of my opinion and my point-of-view as he had his uncle Iroh's.

Two weeks into our tangled love affair, Zuko had left dinner early to return to some important documents. Iroh was unusually quiet and it gave me the most ominous impression. Iroh was always cheerful and chatty and I always enjoyed his company. That evening, it had only made me feel like something most unpleasant was coming.

Iroh sent away the server who brought a fresh pot of tea and waited a whole five minutes before he put down his chopsticks, poured us both tea and then looked at me.

"Katara, do you understand what you have gotten yourself into?" he asked with a grave expression that I had only seen him wear a handful of times. I had somewhat forgotten it over the past few years when he was been nothing but the cheerful but wise person that he was most of the time.

"You know." It was not a question. Iroh was always perceptive.

He nodded once. "Yes, and I am not certain that I am the only one. However, you did not answer my question."

I exhaled. "Do I understand what I have gotten myself into? I don't know. The only thing that I do know is that Zuko is where my heart is."

He nodded. "That may be true but how far are you willing to go with him? I am certain you understand that what you have with my nephew has put you into a complex bind."

"I do. I try to ignore thinking about it but…it always comes back to me."

"It is obvious to me that what both of you have is no simple, fickle crush, but at the same time, I must wonder if you, both of you, have thought about the implications of acting upon your feelings. While I am an advocator of following your heart, there are still many other factors to consider since you are an important part of the Water Tribe and he is the leader of the Fire Nation."

"Look, Iroh, I understand where you are coming from with this. You have cared for and protected Zuko for years and you want to know if I am willing to commit to him or if I, like Mai, will run off when things get too difficult to handle."

He smiled a gentle smile at me. "You are a wise and perceptive girl, Katara, and I have seen for myself that you are also strong, a force to be reckoned with. I see that you possess things that Mai never did and that is what makes your relationship with Zuko so different and so important. I do not mean for you to provide _me_ with answers. All I want is for _you_ to have the answers so that when the time comes, you will know what the right thing to do is."

He took a sip of tea and then grinned at me. "Now, would you be interested in joining me after dinner for a game of Pai Sho?"

"I would be honoured to accept your invitation."

* * *

"Zuko, we can't do this," I tried to protest, but the way he knew me, the way he knew just how to caress and kiss me, was weakening the feeling that I had to fight. Because I did not want to fight. My heart knew when I needed to fight and when I needed to stand my ground but my head was telling me that fighting would be easier.

"Why can't we do this, Katara?"

"You know this isn't right."

"I don't know that at all," he said, trailing kisses along my shoulder, his hands sweeping along my thighs. "This feels like one of the rightest things I've ever done. My Uncle once told me that I should follow my heart. You're my heart, Katara, and I'm willing to follow you wherever you go."

"But your people—"

"My people will understand."

"Zuko, please stop this."

His hands stilled, his kisses ceased. "Is that really what you want? You really want to end this here?" He sat up and looked down at me. "You really want this to be the end of us? How could you tell me that you love me and then decide to leave me? How could you say that you love me and not even fight to be by my side, where I want you…where I need you? How could you?"

"Was that for me or was that for Mai?"

His look darkened with hurt and anger. "How did this become about Mai?" He took a deep breath to calm himself before he looked back at me. "You're not her replacement, Katara. Why would you even think that?"

"You love her—"

"But it is nothing, _nothing_, compared to the way that I love you." He got off the bed and started walking away. My heart felt like it was shrivelling as I watched him desert me. He stopped at a table and touched a box. "I never wanted to complicate things for you. I wanted things to be simpler, sweeter. I didn't want to hurt you at all." He picked up the box and started to come back to the bed. He sat and ran a hand over the top of the box. "I never knew it would have taken a month. But it's a difficult thing, trying to combine fire and water without giving any one more influence than the other."

He opened the box and I sat up, trying to see what was inside but the lid was blocking my line of sight.

"I didn't want to put you in a position where you ever had to question my intentions. I wanted them to be clear to you but I also wanted to surprise you. I had the best craftsman I could find working on it and it still took a month because I wanted it to be the most perfect thing he'd ever created that nothing else had or would ever rival."

He pulled out a necklace from the box, a silk blue ribbon with a carved ruby attached to the centre. My eyes focused on the jewel and the gasp flew out before I could check it. The carving on it was complex and beautiful. It was the combined Fire Emblem and Water Emblem, one carved with the other so that no one looked like it was carved over the other but rather that they were created in unison, that they were part of one symbol.

"You and I are like the symbol carved onto this ruby, Katara. I neither overshadow you nor do you overshadow me. Rather, we live in harmony, parts of one strong, elaborate, beautiful whole. This is how I want things to stay between us. I want to marry you, Katara. It would be my honour if you would please accept me as your husband." He presented the necklace to me and did something that I wouldn't have expected in a million years.

He bowed his head before me, as if I were the one who was royalty.

"Zuko," I said, almost breathless, "do you understand what you're asking?"

"Yes. I know I'm asking you to make a difficult decision. I'm asking you to become an important part of a nation that doesn't know you, a nation that prides itself to an almost arrogant degree on how great it is. I'm asking you to stand by me while you are subject to immense scrutiny and scepticism. I'm asking you to walk into a completely new kind of life. But I'm also asking you to stay with me because I love you and I will never let you face those things alone. I can't do this by myself, Katara, and there is no one who would be better to stand beside me as Fire Lady than you."

He lifted his head and looked at me with the most humble and loving expression upon his face. "I know it is not fair of me to ask this much of you and I understand if it is too much. At the same time, I had to ask. If there is even a small part of you that would be willing to accept me and the burdens I come with, I will be most grateful."

"You're not a burden, Zuko. You're a great gift, a precious existence and I'm so helpless but to love you for that. I want to marry you, Zuko. I accept you and I'll fight. For us."

He leaned forward and kissed me and I felt my fears melt away as strength and joy replaced it. I silently thanked Iroh for his words. He held me tightly as if trying to tell me that he would never allow anything to separate us. And when we surfaced from the depth of that kiss, he looked at me with eyes filled with the greatest warmth and trust and appreciation that I had ever seen. He released me and I turned around and lifted my hair so he could put the betrothal necklace on me. Several seconds passed before I felt his lips against the back of my neck.

"Aren't you going to put the necklace on me?"

"No. It will only get in the way." I heard him close the box and place it on the table beside his bed as I allowed my hair to fall from my hands. He swept it aside and laid kisses along my neck while his hands swept up and down my arms.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For staying."


End file.
